Music to my ears...

If you are crazy enough to read this blog regularly (that's not an insult, honest), you may have latched on to the fact that i LOVE music. It makes me feel alive. i am always looking for new music, but there are some bands and artists that will live forever in my heart. My number one fav's without a doubt are Keane. Some come close, like The Beatles and Snow Patrol. But Keane are my number one. i think if i actually met them i would be lost for words. i'm not fased by famous people, they are just people after all (not that i have met that many). But these guys inspire me, they have made an impact on my life. i loved them from their very first single & had the CD sent out to me when i was living in Greece, the second album came out last year around a very icky & wierd time in my life, it helped to heal my heart (although it hasn't healed altogether and probably never will). It was reassuring to know that there are people in the world who feel the same as i do. i love them millions and gazzillions, i've seen them live and they are amazing, the kind of amazing that makes you tingle. They are just 3 guys that love to play music. Each and every one of their songs speak to me. They are better at putting my feelings into words then i am. i will never get bored of listening to their stuff. Their music is the soundtrack to my life. But i will not harp on about them any more, just have a listen & you'll know what i'm talking about.

It's been a year since you left

i still think about you sometimes

i hope you are ok

i am.

{i just wish you'd given me some explanation}

Day trip to France

Yesterday we got the Eurotunnel to Calais. It wasn't overly interesting to be honest. We went to this weird little 'historic town', which i found boring, and it really smelt funny because it was so old, but i did get a few good shots (that one of me needs some serious editing but i don't have the time now). Apart from that we mostly shopped, we are now fully stocked up on cheese, wine and croissants. It's worth travelling there just to go shopping in Zara. i love Zara in Europe, it's not like here. They have the funkiest clothes ever and it's much cheaper. i do love to travel. i love to see the architecture, landscapes, fashions, colours, the behaviour of people. i find it so exciting when you arrive somewhere new.

i am always intrigued by lamposts. You get some many different types, some are beautiful intricate designs, other just look ugly and industrial. The ones in Calais look like something from War of the Worlds. i joke not. Look for yourself:

See.

i started an new art blog here. i am not expecting to post on there too often for now, but towards the end of the year i will start to post on there quite regularly. The idea is to post pictures of Beaker on his travels. i will try and be more creative for future pictures!

OK, so the earlier announcement might have surprised you, but for me it's been a long time coming. For months i've been telling myself to stick it out a bit longer, that things will get better and they never do & i've been miserable. Lately work has been stressing me out so much it's been affecting my health & my well-being so it was time to go. And i feel so much happier, like a physical weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's a bit scary, but i know that for now it's the right decision. i'd rather take a risk and have hope that there will be better days then be unhappy and wishing i could change my situation.

These are my new glasses. i didn't want them but i am likeing them lots. Using the computer is much better now, i hadn't realised how bad it was till i got these babies.

Today i signed up for an itunes account. i think that may have been dangerous!

*Public Announcement*

I quit my job.

And it feels *So* good!

i was supposed to do a photo shoot today but cancelled because the weather was forecast to be windy and rainy, but it turned out lovely. So feel a bit guilty, but we went to Bournemouth, which was good. i love Bournemouth! The people are so cool. They wear flip-flops all year round, surf in freezing cold weather, have the coolest styles, the biggest sunglasses & the craziest hair colours. i am thinking i might live there one day. i finally bought my Crocs. After much consideration i went for fushia. i went to Lush to stock up. They have the best new product it is called The Charity Pot. It is a hand and body lotion, it's really good and smells yum, but best of all, the proceeds go to charities and groups. Lush donate the ingredients, the man power the packaging and everything, so all the money goes in the charity pot (except VAT). Go buy one!

Things i love today:

* not having a hangover

* driving barefoot

* spending time with the girls

* buying wellies for The Festival.

* coke floats

* the menu at Poppins (it still makes me laugh that they have prices in pence!)

* The Hoosiers

Things which do not amuse me are:

* having to be at work at five

* discovering that Air Traffic are playing in Portsmouth the same night that i am seeing Josh Pyke in Southampton

* having a messy bedroom and no time to tidy it up

i've been taking more self-portraits and this was the best of the lot. Me. Biting my lip. i guess i'm just not in the mood for being photographed. i am starting to worry that i will get wrinkles early because of all the frowning i'm doing lately. It is quite typical of me to have sunglasses on my head, so at least i managed to capture that. My bestest most favouritest ever necklace broke the other week and i am totally gutted that i didn't snap it and scrap it. Life is about the little things as well you know! It is a shell necklace, so totally unfixable & i bought it in Greece, so not sure if i will find anything like it again, but will always have my beady eye out for a replica. i want it back! :(

Lloyd is in Benidorm on my cousin's stage do (yes! i have another cousin getting married). Next week we are visiting France for the day. Brad couldn't get a visa in time, but tonight we took him to Cafe Rouge. i had 3 courses, which i never ever do except for xmas day when mum does prawn cocktail. And i ate really French food. Fried Camembert to start, followed by Croque Monsieur with Chocolat Crepe for desert and a Chocolat Chaud to finish. Not sure how i fit all that in my belly, i suppose i've was making up for all the skipped meals recently. Not had time to eat properly or not felt like it, which is so unlike me. That's the way it goes lately.

Self-portrait Tuesday

Elsie is running a challenge on her blog to take a self-portrait for the chance to win some of her new goodies (which will hit the UK soon, i hope, been desperate to get my hands on some of it for months now). So i thought i'd join in as i've not posted a recent picture of me for a while, and most of you aren't getting to see me in real life very often lately, and my cyber buddies never ever. i thought that i'd pull a silly pout or something. But i ended up using my self timer for pretty much the first time ever and shooting this, because it sums me up at the moment.

Rest

i need you, i miss you, i long for you... Seriously not getting enough of it right now. Think about it all the time. i have sleep issues, which i won't go into on here, but i thought working two jobs would at least help me fall to sleep easier. It doesn't. It takes me a while to unwind when i get in so it's usually 1 before i can even attempt to try and sleep. Getting about 6-7 hours some nights, but i need a lot more than that, so i spend all day wanting to sleep. Yesterday i actually went for a snooze in my lunch break. Not good. Then at the weekends i over compensate for it and get too much, which makes it even harded to get to sleep. Going round in circles.

The hardest part of my day Mon - Fri is dragging myself out of bed, not just because i'm tired but because work (main job) really sucks. Really, really. The most ever. Been so close to resigning several times over the last couple of weeks. The stress has actually started to affect my health, which i know it shouldn't. It's just a job, blahdy blah blah, but when i'm there, i'm under such pressure, all my sensible reasoning goes out of the window. Only things keeping me going are the thought of the happy times ahead, what i'm working towards and that i won't be there for too much longer.

i've got stuff dotted around places to keep me motivated, like this pile of books and my magazine scraps that i've got stuck up on my desk at work. To remind me that it will all be worth it one day.

The scanner is working. So here's something i did at the weekend. A happy picture. Did this for one of Ali's Azine challenge's to use up stash that has been hoarded away. i've been holding onto my word cards for ages, and those epoxy stickers.

Also did something else, but now blogger is playing up, so will share another day. Hopefully it'll be a happier day. Sorry for the moany post, but like i say, i'm tired. With me, tired = grouchy.

Something i made at yesterday's crop, my first 12x12 page in a gazillion years. Also made some other stuff but the scanner won't play ball. Today was just a pyjama day, trying to catch up on some sleep and tv i've missed in the last week and had time for a film.

Above be a page i started 2 weeks ago for the UKS cyber crop, but only just managed to finish. Class was designed by Nat's & the whole point of it was to make your own scalloped paper, but as i'm pushed for time lately i cheated and used some pre scalloped paper. Journalling is from an e-mail i received recently. You know, the really annoying ones that flood your inbox and you have to pass on to 30 people or you'll have bad luck forever and ever. Well i actually took the time to read this one and some of it made sense, so i scrapped it.

Managed to have a bit of a lie in this morning, really needed some sleepy catch up time.

Had an eye test. Need new glasses. Apparently my eyes don't work together very well. It doesn't matter too much when i'm just walking around but when i'm concentrating on something, like on the computer or reading it gives me eye strain &/or headaches. Chose some square rimmed glasses, but they won't be here for a possible 2 weeks, so can't share yet. Spent ages trying on different pairs, even tried some green ones. i thought it would be fun to choose them but it was just embarassing.

Bought a summery dress for a wedding in July & got my hands on a black pair of my favouritest heeled shoes ever. i have them in brown and have been desperate to get hold of them in black for nearly 5 months now. And i had a £10 voucher which i've been hoarding since christmas. Bonus!

Someone was supposed to come and view my car this avo but they never showed. i am secretly pleased.

Registered for my donor card today. Meaning to do that for a long time. It made me sad thinking about stuff like that, but i want to know that if ever anything did happen to me something good would come of it.

Need to go as have to prepare for a crop tomorrow & off to see Spiderman with the girls later.

Ok, super excited because i just found out that Josh Pyke (the guy i was harping on about last time) is playing in Southampton next month! So i bought 2 tickets. Not that i have anyone to go with mind, but i'm sure at least one of you will want to go with me :) Love music that give me goosebumps! Do not like rip off merchants that sell gig tickets for £5 a piece and then whack on £7.75 in postage charges & 'service' charges! What is with that?

Also super excited because:

i got to eat a proper dinner with Mum & Lloyd tonight. And got to actually talk to them beyond discussing how my day was.

i'm not working tonight or tomorrow.

i'm not wearing work clothes /restaurant uniform.

Have you noticed that working all the time is making me appreciate the small things?

In other news:

Brad is back tomorrow, he has been visiting friends in Hertfordshire.

i have been really missing the internet lately, catching up with e-mails & searching the net aimlessly.

My feet are very cold. But they look pretty because Michaela painted my toes at the weekend.

June is going to be the best month. i have plans for at least one of each of the following: trip abroad, festival, gig. But we are only half way through May and there's lots more excitement to happen this month!

For those of you who i haven't had much time for lately. i know i'm a bit AWOL at the moment. i'm sorry. i miss you too. Please appreciate i am being pulled in all kinds of directions at the moment. My spare time is very limited. But i am thinking of you all the time. And no matter how crazy my life is or where i am in the world in relation to you, please know i am there for you. No matter what.

Firstly, Happy Cinqo de Mayo! We are celebrating this Mexican liberation holiday all weekend at work to raise money for the NSPCC and Children 1st. Starting to get into the swing of things at work now, & quite enjoying it, really like the people i get to work with. Although last night i got a few war wounds, a bad burn (which has blistered) and a painful splinter. oh well.

Secondly, Happy National Scrapbooking day!! Sadly i don't have much time to scrap today, hope you do. Hop over to 2peas, there's lots of stuff going on over there.

Thirdly, Happy Birthday to the Speshal girls. They are running a comp over on their new blog.

Fourthly, it's a Happy Happy day for Rebecca & Dave. i mean, look how happy she is! (and how gorgeous she looks). So Cool. They've had a crazy few years, but they are here, Together & that's what matters most.

And lastly, check out Josh Pyke especially the cool artwork & 'Memories & Dust'. Although he is in London next month, i probably won't be able to make it, so i'm hoping i might be able to catch him in Australia at the end of the year. oops, did i just let slip that i might be in Australia this year? hmm...

The Kooks 'See The World' keeps going round and round my head lately. It makes me smile because, i'm slowly getting there. Even though i'm completely over worked & have hardly and time to spare for the people & things i love, let alone sleep, i am really happy right now. i'm setting things in motion & planning stuff that makes me so super excited i want to scream!

'What do you really want to see?'

'Do you want to see the world?'

{i do!}

Katie & i went to Southsea seafront yesterday to eat ice cream & take photos. i really don't take enough photos of where i live. Crazy photo taking makes me happy. Tonight i put my baby blue up for sale, really not a decision i wanted to make, but a sacrifice i needed to happen. My arm is very ouchy after being jabbed 3 times by the nurse on Monday. And that is all i have to share for now as i am very sleepy.